Life is Great!

I feel like in the past I have used this blog to vent about how frustrating life can be. I am here to tell you that I couldn’t be more happy life right now. I have my dream job for this point in my career, my friends have been amazing and I have gotten much closer with my parents since I started working full time.

I am an adult now. It’s like real life. I have student loans and other bills to pay each month, groceries to buy, meetings and conference calls to attend to- all real! haha And the best part about is without homework I can go out dancing all the time and don’t have to worry about doing so! It’s fantastic! =P

Still around…changes

So I don’t know if I even should post now because I feel like I’ll go a long stretch of time before I post again but I just thought I would update everyone on my life and the boys in it. Looking at my last post here was a year ago, I was happy, had a boyfriend and was pleased with school. Well a lot has changed.

The boyfriend I had last post? gone. there is a lot more to be said but I rather not go into details. Let’s just say I lost a good friend but sometimes people just have to go in separate directions.

As far as other boys go, there was a guy I hung out once in september who turned out to be a pathological lier and a crystal meth addict. Ya… Another guy I was talking to for a while and I thought there was potential but after winter break I finally realized that I just didn’t have a spark with him. There is a boy  that im currently crushing on but I have some doubts if it will work out but I’m being patient!

On another note, I’m a senior in college. =( Yes that is a sad face, I don’t wanna graduate at all! I’m happy with my lifestyle, having my meals prepared for me etc. I think what also contributes to my bad feelings towards graduation is that I don’t really have a plan. I know I want to go to physician assistant school but I don’t really know how to get there. I’ve talked with multiple people about many options but there is no general consensus. I think I’ll just get a job doing some clinical research and then work part time as an EMT to gain clinical experience.

Finally, senior year has brought on a ton of changes. In terms of friends, i’ve made a ton since september mainly because my best friend and others I hung out have graduated.  Clubbing has become my new addiction too. I go out almost every Friday to a club with in walking distance of my place. I don’t go to look for guys (although I usually find one). I go to dance. Music and dance has always been my way to release and dance floor has become my new home.

The End of 2009

2009 wasn’t actually that bad for me personally. I got a lot accomplished including finally becoming certified as an EMT and having a steady relationship with my current boyfriend. As far as 2010 goes I’m hoping for more things that brighten my day. I still need to get my drivers license, I would like to work out more and maybe even march drum corps this summer again.

In other areas, I’m home from college and doing alright. The family is driving me nuts which leads me to count down the days til I go back to Beantown. Thankfully I still have some friends here as well as some gay romance novels to get me through the days. I also have surgery scheduled for next Wednesday to have a lymph node in my neck removed. I’m not too too nervous about the surgery because its a simple out patient procedure. However, it is my first surgery so I will have to see how I handle everything.  Well it’s time for Dick Clark’s Rocking New Year’s Eve!

Happy New Year Everyone!!! =D

Finals

Indeed this is the worse week of the year. Finals week is as close to hell as the college student can get! Four exams that count from anywhere from 20-30% of my entire grade in each class. Who created the idea of giving a bunch of huge exams all in one week. My one friend said that her professor gave their class their last exam during the last week of class before all this crazy mess because the professor wanted the students to actually have time to study and learn her material. It makes sense! Finals week for me means that I learn as much of the material to take the exam then wipe it out of my head so I can start cramming for the next exam. Now don’t me wrong I’m usually not a crammer- I read the chapters during the semester and do practice problems. However, during finals there is this pressure that just makes you wanna scream and run to the nearest 7/11 for your 4th redbull of the night! grrr

In other news, I promised I wouldn’t mention too much about the boyfriend but I will say that things are good. My only concern is that we’ve been dating for a little over a month and Christmas break is upon us. Four weeks of not being able to see each other. Ah! I am trying to plan a visit up here but I don’t know if it will happen. See my fear comes from the fact that my last and only boyfriend and I dated for about two months and saw each other everyday. Break came and about three days after we were back he broke up with me. =( With my current bf I only see about once or twice a week, so it shouldn’t be as bad; I’m still a little nervous tho. Do u guys have any ideas on how to keep a new relationship alive for break of this long?

Much Love!

I’m still alive!

First, I’ll apologize for my lack of updates, I reached a point where I didn’t feel it was necessary to keep updating as to lack of interesting drama in my life.

But I’m here now and I have a boyfriend! =) I’m not going say anymore about him on here other than he’s pretty much amazing and we’ve been together for about a month.

The main stress lately in my life has come from my lack of decision making ability. I had to chose between doing an activity that I love and giving up friends, grades and going to particular events that I look forward to. I also had lost my ability to fund the activity that I loved. Thus the choice was made for me that I had to not take part in it and focus on school. I know it is probably the better decision but it still hurts now.

On top of making choices, I have had a lump in my neck since I had mono in June. When I had the mono the lymph node was the size of an easter egg and was clearly visible. People walking past me would stare. The doctors told me that it would be gone by august. Well it was September and it shrunk but was still a decent size, although not visible anymore.  I went to Boston Medical Center where they drew several tubes of blood and ordered a CAT scan of my neck. The scan revealed that I had a lump where I felt it and on the other side there was a smaller one that couldn’t be felt. When I recieved those results I also mentioned that I found two lumps in my groin region kinda half way between my hip bone and my actual dick. The doctor told me that results didn’t raise any concerns but I should have the lumps felt to determine if they were a hernia or lymph nodes.

Well I went to student health where they told me that the lumps where indeed lymph nodes. I also told them that I recently also had a rash on my hands. This lead them to think that I had HIV so I was tested. The results came back negative THANK GOD!  I made an appointment with the ENT(ear, nose & throat) doctor that I saw before. This time he asked me what I wanted to do: a needle biopsy (20% error) or have it removed for a full biopsy (hardly any error). Of course I didn’t know what I should do so I asked him if finding the new lymph nodes worried him. He said ” Well I am concerned, very concerned that you have something called lymphoma. Although you don’t show any of the typical signs such as night sweats or fevers.” So I decided to have a needle biopsy that day (I’ll get the results in two weeks) and to have it removed in surgery over Christmas break because recovery is about a week. Personally, I’m not too scared, just wanna know what this is so I can move on or fight it if I need to.

Independence Day Weekend

This past weekend was one of the better I’ve seen this summer. My family came out to Boston to visit me. It was really good to see them and spend time with them. They haven’t come out here since Easter. Friday night I went down to Bristol, RI with my mother and brother to see Elliot perform with his drum corp. He is marching with one of the best in the country and the show was amazing. Watching the competition did make me think about my decision not to march this summer and focus on academics. For my future I did make the best choice as getting my EMT this summer will really help my resume, however I also thought I would do a lot more. I had plans to go to the Cape, Providence, P-town, go camping, hiking, road trips, etc.  The only worthwhile things that I have done so far were Pride weekend and then last night at the fireworks ( I really wanted to go down to the esplanade but that didn’t even happen). I suppose I shouldn’t be too hard on myself, I did get mono half way through the summer and then of course this weather here in Boston has just been awful!

Today I was able to cross off one item on my list of “things to do in Boston during the summer.” Scott and I took a ferry to the Boston Harbor Islands. Our plans were to go to the beach but when we got to the Island we realized that the shore of the island was covered with rocks. It turned out to be fine though because we walked around the island and explore a fort that took up the majority of the island.  Finally we found a spot to set out a blanket and tan! I was so glad to rip off my shirt and take some sun in! We had a good time but I now see that Scott and I would never work. We just don’t connect – we hardly talked the entire time. Oh well at least I got something that I’ve been waiting to do, done!

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

Out of the 30 days of June, it rained on 21 on them here in Boston. It has continued to rain both yesterday and today; my hope for July being a worthwhile month is glum. It has really just come to the point where I don’t check the forecast anymore, I just grab the umbrella and sweatshirt and head out for the day. I don’t understand why were getting weather this bad in the middle of summer when it should be in April. My personal theory is that the seasons are shifting backwards. Everything seems delayed when you thing about it. At least here in the northeast we always complain about how in the spring its too cold, then the summer its too rainy, then in the fall its too warm. When it comes time for snow in November we hold our breath but it doesn’t come until December, somethings ever after Christmas! I don’t know, maybe its all just related to global warming but I reckon if we just changed the months dedicated to each specific season, things would fit better.

I am please to announce that I now feel 100% better from the mono. I did end up going back for another follow up where they told me I tested positive for strep throat on top of the mono. Due to the fact that I had strep over last Thanksgiving too, they put me on an extra high dose of penicillin. I abhor penicillin! The smell is just awful and because I am taking so much of it, when I urinate I can smell it again! Thankfully I only have a few days left of the four times a day medication.

In the boy situation…Scott and I hung out again. I thought things were going very well between us and that all he needed was some time. However, we talked again and he said that he really wants to just be friends now. He can see us getting into a relationship later on but really wants to stop all the cuddling, and taking each other out until we know each other very well. I wasn’t too upset by this decision because A) I have another guy friend, which I’ve definitely mentioned I’m in need of B) its not a complete no. Don’t get me wrong- there is no way in hell that I am waiting around. I did that this past fall with Elliot and was crushed. My big feeling on coming out of all of this is that I’m over guys. They aren’t worth my time right now. I am going to stop worrying about how I’m not in a relationship and start enjoying the single life.

Is is Summer Yet?

I would like to start by thanking all of you for you concern. I did go to the doctors right after I blogged and they said it just might be allergies and aftermath of my headache.  Then about a week later the eye pain disappeared. However instead, I got multiple fevers with out any other cold symptoms such as stuffy nose or sore throat. I went back to Student Health and the nurse practitioner felt the lymph glands in my neck and started to panic. She immediately sent me for a chest x-ray and a blood test. My right gland was super swollen. Thankfully after a clear x-ray and a positive blood test for mono, the mystery was solved. My gland continued to get bigger; I can still see it sticking out of my neck like an egg in the mirror. My tonsils also swelled to some of the largest the doctor has ever seen. They gave me some steroids and pain medication. I didn’t start to see a slight improvement until yesterday, so I still have a long road ahead of me; however I am glad that it wasn’t something worse.

Outside of my illness this week was the last week of semester one for the summer. I had my Nutrition final today which meant that I now can say “No more school!!!” I do still have EMT classes but they are easy. I had our third EMT exam this past week and didn’t study because I was ill; I still received an A.

In the boy situation… Scott came back from his trip home. I picked him up from the airport and brought him flowers. He gave me a postcard along with a shot glass ;-). On the back of the postcard was a note about how he was really glad that we met and have become good friends. We hung out this past weekend by going to see the drum corps I was in last summer, followed by an excellent dinner. Scott and I went back to my place to watch a movie but I started to get a fever from the mono. He layed in bed with me and held me. Basically he took care of me; bringing me a wet towel for my forehead and some OJ. Later in the week as the mono progressed he brought me breakfast. He even remembered that my favorite tea is Earl Grey! Everything has just been going really well. We are taking it super slow to make sure we both are comfortable with each other.  I’m soo excited for whats to come!

Medical Advice? …Exciting Things!

Some exciting things are happening all around me! =) Classes/work/ volunteering is all going well. Before I get to the exciting stuff, I’ve had some strange medical symptoms lately. I got a headache Friday afternoon and it got really bad on Saturday. It got to the point where I couldn’t go outside because my eyes were so sensitive to the light. So that night I drank lots and lots of water and hoped for the best. On Sunday the headache wasn’t as bad but it was still there. This whole time the headache was in the front region of my head near the front of my head, like right behind my eyes. Then on Sunday night right before dinner my toes started to itch. I thought well it must be the sandals or something but then during dinner my hands got really itchy and all red with a rash. I don’t believe the rash was due to me scratching as I didn’t scratch that much. On my walk back to my place my hands started to swell.

On Monday, my headache was gone, although I noticed that the muscles for my eye were really sore. Like I looked far in one direction (like trying to look over my shoulder it hurt). I also had just a slight sensitivity to light in the morning. At dinner I got itchy hands again and the rash; I also realized that its only the muscles in my left eye that are sore. Today, same thing, muscles in my left eye are sore when I look to the sides, al-thought slightly less pain. I also got the itchy hands at both lunch and dinner.  At first I thought it was allergies but now I don’t know. I think if the eye pain doesn’t get a little better tomorrow I’m going to student health.

On a more positive note, those exciting things… First, Apple had it’s keynote announcing that the new software was coming out next Wednesday and the new phone would be released next Friday. Second, this weekend is PRIDE!!! I’m so excited as it is my first adult pride!  A friend of mine is spending the night on Saturday too, so that should be interesting! Third, Scott and I have been talking everyday while he’s been away.  He’s coming back on Wednesday, and I can’t wait to see him. Things are really clicking so hopefully something good comes from it. I’m just so scared to get my heart broken again that its hard for me to like trust him. Idk we will see what happens! =)

Summer Time!!

It is summer time here in Boston! Things have already started off on a good note. In my academic class, Human Nutrition, I had my first exam which went really well. I got the exam back today and actually received and A. =) In my EMT class lectures are intellectually stimulating and I can’t wait to actually use the stuff I learned out in the field. Outside of school, I saw DAVE MATTHEWS! He came to Fenway park and played for a good three hours or so. It was my first concert ever and was the right choice to make my first. The concert was sold out and the smell of pot was so strong from everyone smoking around me that I think I got a slight high.

In the boy situation… (theres a lot),

-When I first came back to my place ( before I moved to summer housing) I had the room to myself. Now I hadn’t had sex in like a month and figured I would call a friend up.  …long story short- it happened, it sucked, i moved on

-Sean, a friend that I met online and we went to some dances here in Boston, texted me randomly asking if I wanted to hang out. Now I’ve always wanted to hang out with him but then found it hard to read his intentions. Well, he ended up coming into Boston one night. We took a walk and what not, then I realized that he wanted to hook up. At first I was hesitant but he was spending the night and is super cute! We ended up have amazing sex that was interrupted when my roommate walked in. We hid right away and ended up finishing in the bathroom later. I apologized to my roommate the next morning who said he didn’t know anything of it til I said something to him. BS! w/e if he was cool with then I’m cool with it.

-Two nights later I get a text from Cedric (search him if you want background info) asking how I was and that he wanted to catch up. Now Cedric and I were really good friend and then stuff happened. I thought maybe we would catch up again. So I went to his place to watch a movie and drink some tequila- bad life choice. We ended up fucking and well it was bad. He is very large, last time I didn’t feel it because I was more drunk I guess. This time it hurt- bad. I didn’t even get off in the end.

Finally, after all this mess I started talking to this new boy. Lets name him, Scot. We have gone on a few dates and things have been going well. We went out to coffee on and then went back to my place for a movie.  At the end of the movie, we made out a little and he kinda pushed things further. I asked “is this what you really want?” He said “ya, do you?” I said honestly no, I like you and don’t want to mess it up. He was like that’s okay. So we layed there and he was like you know, I’m glad you stopped me cause I like you too. He said that he thought I wanted it and that he was just thinking with his dick.  He ended up spending the night because it was too late to walk home. Nothing happened, we just fell asleep listening to music together. We’ve been talking everyday since then. It hasn’t been long conversations, which worries me, but as I write this we are having a conversation and I straight up asked him if he wanted more than sex. He was like “yes, I really do like you.” Well, I’m paranoid as hell because nothing ever tends to work out but oh well we will see. Oh btw hes going on vacation for two weeks… fml haha.